Science has widely acknowledged the five senses as the basis for human function, but as a Dominican child I learned at an early age of what my mother called her “6th sense”. What I now know as clairvoyance through dreams is the abundant sense my mother was gifted with that I realized as a teenager, had also been passed down to me.
Our heritage has always been at the forefront of conversation in our household. Growing up in Los Angeles with a New Yorker as a mother, she was relentless with making sure that although the Dominican population and representation in LA was almost nonexistent, her children would know where they came from. However, being a first generation American some of her teachings were enmeshed with Black American culture, thus straying from Afro-Latin tradition. That being said, the most conflicting part of my upbringing was religion. I can see my young holding my mothers hand as we walked the pews of City of Refuge Christian church confused because at home we identified as Catholic. I even attended Catholic school until third grade. As I began to ask questions I understood that for mom, spirituality isn’t rooted in religion as much as it is in knowing God. “You can find God anywhere,” she would remind us. As an adult I’ve adopted this concept more readily as a result of her teachings.
I can’t say the transition from confused adolescent looking for God to sound spiritual adult was as easy as it reads. I would often find myself in dark mental places experiencing internal conflict, not yet understanding that this was all a result of not serving my higher self - where God within me resides. Certain conversations that turned to arguments with my mother vividly frame the ways in which I was lost and afraid of the gifts that I was being given. I wanted so badly to “not put my energy into that” but the dreams kept coming and the woman forming within me kept raging. I would notice certain rituals that I glazed over as a child - Florida water here, a bowl of water and a white candle there. I became curious and less stubborn about the seemingly dark practices that I started to talk about the dreams instead of fighting about what I didn’t want to believe. I wanted to understand why this was happening to me and why I was afraid.
I can recall my earliest clairvoyant dream at five years old. it came to me during a traumatic transitional time for my mother and I - the snake symbol that I once thought a nightmare later revealed itself to be a recurring guide to warn me when I was in bad company, or was approaching a turbulent period of change. So it started at five and then life was a blur and then at seventeen the dreams became frequent. I dreamt of other things too, but I can only vividly recall each of the ever elusive snake dreams. I knew there had to be a reason for this I just wasn’t sure when it would all make sense.
That day arrived sooner than I anticipated in 2020. Healing mother wounds opened the door for my ancestors to speak to me in ways that I couldn’t have been ready for in the past. It began with the black snake that crossed my path while I was doing yoga in March. Then followed a series of unforeseen painful events which challenged my womanhood that lead me to look for answers. One search revealed that mine my grandmother and great grandmothers name coincidentally echo the names of a group of saints and deities in the 21 Divisions - a Voodoo practice derived from Haiti that is practiced in Dominican Republic.
My name is Annessa, named after my great grandmother Anna. The voudo spirit Anaïsa Pye often depicted in part with St. Anne is a beloved sprit that works with a snake charming Loa by the name Philomena Lubana. Anaïsa sends Lubana to guide and vet her decendents through snake appearances in dreams, or visits on land as a mute woman or a snake itself. Anaïsa is the daughter of Ezili Dantour - which i correlated with my late grandmothers name Elsa. Both are variations of the name Erzulie, the name for the raging yet loving feminine spirit said to guide single mothers since the Haitian revolution in 1791. This entire time I was unsure of why snakes never left me, after all I don’t even really like snakes like most normal people. But although religions have historically depicted snakes as a symbol of evil, I now see that they serve me they as a symbol of light, of change and transition guides in the dream realm and on earth. My very own name I once thought a mere coincidence was actually assigned to me by my ancestors St. Anne, Anaïsa Pyé, Philomena Lubana and Ezili Dantour.
A friend recently reminded me of the humility in always being a student. When it comes to spiritual teachings, witnessing chaotic cult followings of self-proclaimed healers, witches, and spiritual guides has been alarming. The surplus of misinformation combined with a mass desperation to cling to something outside of self has lead so many young people down a path of dangerous spiritual practices. As a student of God, I don’t claim to know everything, but what I am sure of is that any shared information as it regards the divine must come from humble energy. Even as an expert, a spiritual teacher must always lead with heart over ego. For those who seek guidance, every path is uniquely ordered for the individual. A strong intuition is vital in deciding what is meant for you and only you.
*Originally published on Its-In-Scope*